Sorry, Hubspot. Social media is NOTHING like sex.

Social Media Is Nothing Like Sex

I just stumbled upon an old blog post from the fine ladies and gentlemen at Hubspot, trying to convince me that Social Media Is A Lot Like Sex.

It's not. And here's 10 reasons why...

  • Social media is all about doing it in public.

  • 57% of marketers have acquired customers via blogging. Fewer than 52% of them have acquired customers via sex. Possibly significantly fewer.

  • It's okay to charge for social media.

  • And it's fine to tweet your siblings.

  • Almost eight new people come onto the internet every second. (This one doesn't really work, but it made us snigger.)

  • Social media spreads the word. Sex just spreads cooties.

  • The average UK user spends over 26 minutes on Facebook every day. If there's an equivalent stat for sex then no wonder our economy's in a mess.

  • The average Twitter user has 27 followers, but most of the ones who follow @KimKardashian have zero sexual partners.

  • 42% of employers say no to any use of social media in the workplace. Yeah, even at the office Christmas party. Prudes.

  • My wife enjoys social media.


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We all agree, right? Affiliate marketing is starting to suck.

We all agree, right? Affiliate marketing is starting to suck.

It's amazing how candid people can be when they don't realise (or don't care) thatyou're listening. Here's a direct quote from a chap called Chris Rempel who works as an affiliate marketer. We're not saying it's representative, but... well, just take a look:

"Remember that most people still honestly believe – and follow – the bullshit myth about 'great content' and 'great user experience'. Exploit this for all it’s worth by outranking them with swaths of cheap, shitty links – and passable content."

Charming, innit? If you'd like to read more of this stuff, feel free to click the quote and explore his website. He's a bit of a hero to black hat affiliates, and he's made a lot of money out of doing this stuff - so, hey, he must be doing something right.

But not for you. And wasn't that supposed to be the point of affiliate marketing?

Let's back-track a little. Back in the mid-'90s, some very bright sparks (among them Amazon - lest we forget how the big A rose to such prominence) realised that the entire internet could serve as retail outposts for their online stores. Why spend a fortune advertising then converting on your site when,


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Football Retail: Still Living In The Dark Ages

Football Retail: Still Living In The Dark Ages

I'm… long pause… shuffle of feet… awkward silence… a Spurs fan. There I said it. But don't worry if you're a fan of any of the other 18 perfectly-respectable premiership clubs (or even Arsenal), this is a friendly, well-meaning blog post. I mean you no harm. Besides, we're all in the same boat when it comes to being fans. We're all walking wallets. Cash cows. Client reference numbers. We're consumers of the official beer, the official ticket provider, the official online betting companies. But we're never, ever, customers.

The word 'customer' suggests that we own our custom and that we have any choice where to bestow it. But, like a failed safe-cracker doing a duckfoot, we're locked in for life. There is only one shirt we can buy (which, incidentally, is why us Spurs fans are a wee bit disgruntled that this oneis besmirched with evil red). We don't have the option of buying a Fulham shirt instead (we don't want to be laughed at in public) - what they offer we buy. Because we have no choice.

But this is, let's face it, a pretty ropy way to run a retail business. In fact, it's got icky echos


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Five ways social commerce can make YOUR online community profitable

Five ways to monetise YOUR online community with social commerce

For years, monetisation has been the elephant in the room for online communities. On the one hand, all that moderation, content creation, love and - let's face it - server capacity doesn't pay for itself. On the other hand, you didn't set this community up to make money, and no one joined to make you rich.

The brilliant writer Patrick O'Keefe went a huge way towards smashing that taboo with his latest book, Monetizing Online Forums (he's from North Carolina so we'll forgive him the spelling). But what about social commerce? Can you tap into the latest tools and trends to make money out of your community without alienating your members?

We think so. And here's five tried and tested ways we've helped communities from Mumsnet to Robbie Williams's gigantic fanbase do just that.

1. Quite simply, brands pay to run Co-buys. We've helped set up thousands of Co-buys with partners ranging from The Mirror to the motorcycling mecca, Visordown - and brands have been queueing up to get on board... at a cost.

2. Co-buys can be sold either as one-off marketing events, or as entire Co-buying channels. Brands can either take over those channels - supplying and promoting


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Turn on your Facebook (*shocking stats inside*)

Shocking Facebook Stats

Some amazing stats from the Mediabistro AllFacebook Marketing Conference this morning, where Vincent Sider, VP of Social Media for the BBC's commercial arm, BBC Worldwide, bemoaned the impact of Facebook's new EdgeRank algorithms. For anyone who's not run into this problem, Facebook recently tweaked its backend settings to prevent so much corporate content from reaching Fans' News Feeds. As a consequence, some brands' posts are now reportedly seen by as few as 6% of their Fans. Yep, just six percent. Pretty hard to get return on that investment.

This has hit BBC Worldwide hard. Vincent reported that Facebook's EdgeRank changes resulted in 27.8% fewer visits from Facebook to the Top Gear website, while average daily reach as a % of fans plummeted from 38% in July to just 14% in October. The net result? A loss of revenue of £139,755 for Top Gear.

Facebook's solution? If you want to reach more people, you should consider promoting your great content with sponsored stories and paid-for promoted posts. That's fair enough - they're a business. But, Vincent Sider reckons that he'd have to spend £300,000 each and every month to make up the shortfall in referral traffic, which is simply


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