First things first: can we all agree that ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ is pretty much the greatest achievement of the 1980s? That’s right: greater than mixtapes, greater than Speak & Spell, maybe even greater than Ms. Pac-Man. But, in spite of its gargantuan greatness, ‘FBDO’ is fundamentally flawed. Why? Because it seems to suggest that ‘borrowing’ someone’s car inevitably leads to it being driven backwards, through a plate glass window, into a tree.